Sex

i am physically a virgin but my mind is far gone. i must say i’ve come to a point to where everything sexy, sexual, devious, seductive is just boring to me now. it is so shoved down my throat that i need acceptance from other people, and that the chief aim of everything i do is to be sexually attractive to both men AND women who measure themselves against me, and i against them. that sort of victory of being the best, the prettiest, the sexiest is just tasteless in my mouth. it is nothing anymore. sex has become boring. i have become bored with myself, with my body and with my mystique. when i see myself in the mirror i have no opinion anymore. it’s just flesh and bones, a blur of things necessary for my survival. don’t know how i can play that up, so i just don’t. i think i have successfully dodged that sort of judgmental limelight so many girls become trapped in, but i feel that if i didn’t have christ, what i’ve come to in my sexuality would be extremely depressing. but no… i am enthralled by the fact that there is more to sexuality that meets the eye and skin. that God created sexuality to be a model that proclaims the same love that Jesus loves the church with. God’s love. i am excited that my sexuality does not glorify myself or other people. what kind of life is that? the further i’ve come in this realization the more i see that sex is not an act just that consecrates how much two people love one another. in light of the gospel, sex is marriage, two becoming one. “sex” is spiritual intimacy and surrender. it is the day by day unity that comes from loving like Jesus loves us- by loving selflessly.

Philippians 2:5-8

“ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!”

marriage, sex, oneness with one other person for the rest of your life involves death of your own desires. to lay down yourself so that the other may be exalted, and in their exaltation, your joy becomes complete..

John 15 talks about The Vine and the Branches… with discernment, read this passage and try to see what it means for a husband to love his wife like Jesus loves the church when you read this. What kind of love is now available to us in our unity? what does this mean for the way we love each other? what sort of desires will we have to lay down so that this love can become more complete in our relationships with one another?

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

I obviously do not have to explain that in Genesis, what “be fruitful” means. but i also obviously do not have to explain that having a fruitful relationship means so much more than just having children.

Genesis 1:28

“And God blessed them: and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

this is the American Standard Version that uses the phrase “replenish the earth and subdue it.” i really love that, because it just encourages us as single christians to realize the immense importance of waiting for God to bless us with a relationship in which Christ is absolutely the center. By having a marriage with another person where God’s love is abounding because of their mutual humility, commitment to persevere in love, this verse is a promise that by that example, our example as Christian lovers we can replenish the earth. i can already see that in the world with people i know myself- i have been exposed to many, many dysfunctional relationships and marriages in my life and i know that God has done it for a reason. by seeing all that brokenness that comes when Christ is not actively the center- when i see marriages that are striving in fruitfulness in terms of faith, love, generosity and wisdom, i feel so encouraged and excited and reassured and it really does absolutely proclaim God’s glory. that is nuts. what God intended for marriage is where sexuality is made whole- and this whole time as a teenager, i have been exposed to just one side to it that has been warped beyond my full understanding. it is not about me, it is not about what people see, it is not about the man i love. it is about knowing what it’s like to persevere and love in longsuffering just like Jesus did for us. THAT, is something i will never get bored of. i am absolutely sure of that.

i have found that lately i have actually become excited when things get horrible, because i know that on the other side of my trials i will have come to know God more, and that i will be more conformed to Jesus Christ’s love, and i will be one step closer to loving the world in a way that bears fruit- that replenishes the earth and subdues it for God’s glory.

2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.