is wonderful.
also, praise God for incredible, beautiful answers to prayer… he really does go above and beyond our understanding into true reconciliation, and past that, into the peace that transcends all understanding that is grounded in his deep, unfailing love for us. thank you so much to whoever has been praying for me…… you guys are so wonderful and support me even when i almost don’t have the strength to open my eyes in the morning, when i don’t have the guts to look Jesus in the eye- who has come through for me every time before- and tell him, Raise the fallen, cheer the faint. Heal the sick, and lead the blind.
i praise him and thank him so much for being able to be transformed so that we can love others like he loves us… and specifically, to be able to forgive people just as he forgives us. that we have that promise to receive his spirit that strengthens us, that walks with us, and carries us through the hardest, darkest times. i’m so thankful that i can live my life in joy, peace and faith that the future holds hope for his glory and for myself drawing closer to him, and knowing him more… i wrote in my journal a few weeks ago, that i am absolutely exhausted, tired, of living my life for the mountaintop experiences. i want true peace and love and confidence that i can live my life day to day with in the grudgingly mundane things that suddenly make these things bloom into wonderful memories and lessons and blessings that i can go to bed with honest-to-God gratitude for my life. that I am me, and that he loves me and knows me more than i could ever understand. I have received that this past month on a new level and i’m still struggling but I have so much more hope in these things that God has burdened my heart with for prayer and praise to him. thank you jesus for being that model that i strive towards.. and that you have not made yourself unreachable. that all who believe in you receive eternal life- that we are not just healed of our disease, but we are made clean. that you heal our identity and allow us to come back into deep love with you, and that we can love each other and our friends deeply. thank you for that. thank you for making that my life. thank you that that is all i live for now. i pray that you would make me want it more, and that i would act on that desire in diligence and in prayer, self control, gentleness, humility and lovingness. help me to love my friends more, and to reach out to those whom i turn away from for petty reasons, even fear. let me know you more, thank you God for promising that you will bless all of these things, that these prayers will be answered in your good timing. help me to wait on you, to have strength and joy and peace in my waiting- that i would be able to encourage others to be patient as well, and that i would have true love for them-that i would suffer with them, and rejoice with them in their life. thank you for showing us the good that comes from laying down our life for the sake of you resurrecting us in your perfection and sinlessness. thank you for being the model of sacrifice and patience, and of the only evidence we need that God really does love us. thank you for blessing us beyond that and calling us friends (John 15:15)- that we are no longer servants, but you bless us by revealing your character and will to us in our lives and prove all of these things to us by your Word- i thank you for the bible and for your spirit that helps us to understand it and weaves it into the deepest depths of our hearts, and transform our hearts and minds, renewing us day by day. thank you for that, i pray that you would help me to resist conforming to this world and that i would be so excited to love you and to love my friends more- that i would become less, and you would become more and more and more. i pray for my friends, that they would know your love, and that they would know the power of forgiveness in their own lives, and that you would help me to love them and forgive them just like you’ve done for me. i love you soooo much. thank you for loving me. you are incredible and you are all i live for. you won’t leave me or forsake me…and i know you won’t leave or forsake Victoria, and you have made that very plain to me today and i thank you for that. thank you for answering prayers i am too weak to say aloud, and that you answer prayers even when i am not looking. thank you thank you thank youuuuuu i love you.
JESUS’ NAME AMEN YEAHHHHH
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