it's nuts if i take a step back and realize how much social anxiety i have when i take jesus out of the picture. spent like an hour reassuring myself that it is ridiculous to think that everyone probably hates me. i base my confidence a lot in what certain people think of me and it's evident that as of late, one of my favorite people has straight up fallen out of love with me. it's hard but i have to keep reminding myself i shouldn't be embarrassed of what i know has to be said. that's the last thing i want to do, is be ashamed. but it's easy to point the blame or glory at myself.
i'm behind on a lot of stuff/ should probably cut a lot out of my halloween weekend, blah it's my favorite.
let myself sleep 6 hours last night. pllffbbtt. still exhausteddddd
amazed/in love with God
but sad/hurt by a friendship i have made into an idol in my life
trying to let God take care of it and not be self seeking about all of this
"all these chisels i have dulled carving idols of stone, have crumbled like sand beneath the waves"
pooooooooooo
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